ohbaby!
by HanaBri
Summary: AU: Living the life as a journalist for ohbaby! magazine has been paradise Sakura Haruno. Until she's asked to interview the Ninjas. Chapter 2: "Eh? You ok? Do I stink or something? Because you totally just backed away from me like I smelled like onions."
1. Chapter 1

**I shouldn't be doing this. A new story is NOT what I need. But I want to.**

**And so, meet the newest member of the HanaBri family: ohbaby!**

**-x-**

**To: BlueEyes**

**From: GreenSakura**

**Subject: Fuck yes, bitch**

_So yeah, Pig, did you hear? I was chosen to interview… wait for it… wait for it… THE NINJAS! (And the crowd goes crazy for Sakura's victory! Whoooo!) Lemme tell you, that whole band is one gorgeous hunk of man._

_But it's not all good. I have KARIN as photographer. Hinata will be there for make-up, though, thank God, and Tenten will be there too, for keeping the rabid fan girls that work at our _somewhat_ prestigious magazine away , but whatever. I. however, am most psyched for the fact that WE ARE FINALLY WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN! We lucked out._

_It's been since, what, the Hilary Duff issue that we worked together?_

_OH BABY, I can't wait for this. But now I have to go and get Einstein's head, that idiot, out of the trashcan. He stepped on the little thing to open the cover, stuck his head in to sniff, and apparently stepped of the little lever. Idiot._

_Cha, lover!_

_Sakura_

-x-

Okay, so I'm not the prettiest of the bunch (that's Ino), but I'm definitely the smartest. My name is Haruno Sakura, and I got my mitts on an interview with the Ninjas, all thanks to my brains. We'll explain that later, but for now, I think we should get to know me.

Haruno Sakura, 28, 5'5", journalist for ohbaby! magazine. Best friends with Ino, Fashion Head at said magazine. Friends with Hyuuga Hinata (she swears that she's only second cousins with Hyuuga Neji, and has only met him once) make-up artist, and Buki Tenten, Human Resources Head. Huge fan of bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Matchbox 20, and has a guilty pleasure for crappy teenybopper pop songs. Einstein is my dog, he's a Keeshond. He's in love with Ino's dog. We gave them a fake wedding and everything.

Ok, not let me tell you about the Ninjas. As soon as their first single, Prisoner, came to airwaves, they were bigger than anyone in the music industry. Including the Johnson Bros. Yeah, never thought they wouldn't NOT be 1.

The band consists of 5 UTTERLY DELICIOUS guys. Uzumaki Naruto, drummer. Hyuuga Neji, lead guitarist. Nara Shikamaru, bassist. Houzoki Suigetsu, background vocals, guitar, and if needed, bass. And finally, Uchiha Sasuke, singer, and front man of the band.

For the first time in the 3 years that they have been topping the charts, they are agreeing to FINALLY give an interview. They like their privacy, so things might get dicey, but I think I can handle it.

-x-

**To: GreenSakura**

**From: BlueEyes**

**Subject: YES!**

_YOU'RE KIDDING! This is great! You're right, I would not mind going to a sausage fest if it involved those five. :D_

_How does Einstein manage to do these stupid things? Oh, and Lucy wants to know if he's ok. Awwwww3_

_Chow, lovah!_

_Ino_

_-x-_

Yamanaka Ino is the name. Fashion is my competitive, incredible, and sometimes infuriating game. People have told me to be a model since I was seven. But no, I wanted to do a little more than just walking in clothes. I wanted to design outfits, and things like that. Hence, I'm the Fashion Consultant of ohbaby! Magazine.

I'm 28, single, 5'8", a lover of classic rock, and totally utterly screwed. Oh, and I have a dog named Lucy. She's married to Sakura's dog, Einstein.

So, you probably want to know why I'm screwed. Yeah.

Well, once upon a time, in a place not so far away, I was best friends with a boy named Shika. We grew up together. When we were 18, reckless and crazy, he confessed his love to me.

-x-

"_Ino, I LOVE you," Shika said, causing Ino to drop the fork she had been holding._

_They had been eating breakfast before the last day of high school, and he had dropped the bomb._

"_Ew. No. Just, no." Ino felt bad for the harsh rejection, but it had to be done._

"_Ino, I can't take no for an answer. My heart will be torn apart." He grabbed her wrists in a desperate attempt to get her to reconsider. Ino started to wonder what happened to the lazy ass she knew._

"_NO. NO, NO, NO!! I'll say it a thousand more times, NO!" Ino didn't understand why she was rejecting him so harshly, but she was. She slammed her hands down on the table, using the force to jump up._

"_Ino, someday, somehow, I will make you love me. It will happen, and when it does, I will take your love and smash it. Or even better, I will make your life hell," Shika had started to shake._

"_Shika…. I have to go." She had thought he hadn't meant it. And with that, she never saw him again._

_-x-_

And Shika? He grew up to be Nara Shikamaru, bassist of the Ninjas.

I really don't like where this is going.

-x-

Dragging the Starbucks to my lips, I wearily took a sip. I was too tired to function today. It was the day I would see him again. And I can tell you know, it won't be pretty.

"Oh, Ino!" I turned towards the voice, only to find Sakura tripping over herself to get to me, dragging Sai, the head Artistic Division guy, behind her. Kiba, and Shino, the Animal and Nature heads, were trailing behind her.

"Guess what? Sai said it would be super creative if we had the Ninjas have a photo shoot with dogs! And he said Einstein, Brandi, Lucy, Tooters, and Scruffy could be the dogs!"

"It's true," Kiba stated, his hands relaxing casually behind his head.

"So, have you seen Hinata and Tenten? Brandi and Scruffy are Hinata's, and Tenten's dog is Tooters,"

Well, maybe my dog's presence will chill me out.

-x-

So we had found Ino, Hinata, and Tenten, and managed to get them to get assistants to go home and get our dogs. I had ditched Sai, Kiba, and Shino, and was currently making my way towards the office.

So now, I was walking down the hall in my (sexyawesomehot) pink kitten heels with Einstein in tow. I get constant remarks that he looks like a wolf, although I doubt a wolf would wear a pink jeweled collar with a matching pink leash.

I stopped by the bulletin board to see what was up, for a second, just a second, I SWEAR!

I felt slight tugging on the leash, and next thing I know, I smell shit. Literally.

"Excuse me, but I think your wolf just shit on the ground,"

"Shit!"

-x-

Ino took a deep breath.

She was in what we called "the Closet", where all the cover stars get dressed in their clothes for the photo shoot. Her assistants were standing at attention to her left and waiting for the doors to open. Hinata and her assistants were also waiting behind her.

Ino, on the other hand, was wringing her hands nervously. She stopped immediately, however, when the doorknob slowly turned.

"And here it is, boys, the Closet!" Tenten exclaimed, ushering them in through the door.

And "they" were better looking in real life then they ever were in photos.

Hyuuga Neji lead the group through the door, flashing Tenten a small smile. She returned it. He was gorgeous, with long brown hair that went to his back, and the same white eyes that Hinata has. He was second tallest of the group, towering over everyone at 6'4". Uzumaki Naruto followed, in all his blonde, blue-eyed glory. He flashed the same happy grin at Tenten, before surveying the room. The man was 6'0", and the shortest of the band.

Next came Houzoki Suigetsu, who flashed Hinata, Tenten, and Ino lecherous grins before coming to stand next to Neji. He was around 6'2", and by far the weirdest looking of them Silver hair, purple eyes and sharp teeth made him to look almost demon-like, but in a completely hot way, of course.

Then came Nara Shikamaru. He was easily the tallest of them, standing at a whopping 6'6". He had black hair pulled up into a high ponytail, and brown eyes that surveyed the room. Then they came to land on Ino. His mouth widened into a smirk, and his eyes narrowed.

_Damn! I had hoped he wouldn't recognize me. Does the world hate me or something?_ Ino thought, pasting an empty smile onto her face.

"Welcome to ohbaby! Magazine. We're incredibly pleased that y-" "I already read them the riot act, there's no need, Ino," Tenten interrupted.

"Well, that's good. Eh? Where's Mr. Uchiha?"

"Right here. I had to go help some annoying girl put up her wolf," Uchiha Sasuke walked into to the room in his 6'3" glory. His raven hair and black eyes captured the heart of every girl in the room, not including Sakura, who trailed behind him with a frown on her face.

"He's a dog,"

"Why are you still here?" He shot back.

Sakura glared, and stormed right past him towards Ino. She noted that Ino looked like she was going to be sick.

"You ok, Pig? You look as blue as the Cookie Monster," Sakura whispered, concerned for her friends.

"I'm fine, let's just get this over with." She replied.

"Ok, I'm Haruno Sakura, your interviewer. This is Yamanaka Ino, your fashion consultant. Hyuuga Hinata is your make-up artist-"

"I'm not putting on any make-up,"

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki, you can take that up with Hinata. And you already know Buki Tenten, who makes sure you don't get mobbed by fan girls and that everything goes smoothly in your stay with us,"

Tenten enthusiastically clapped her hands.

"Well, let's get started!"

-x-

**It was rushed, but just wait! It will get better. Tenten's last name is Buki, because it means weapons.**

**Reviews are lovely.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes, so my rule is that whenever I start a new story, it needs two chapters before I start on another story.**

**So, here we go!**

**-x-**

"I want her gone. Talk to the head fashion person, or whatever, and get her gone," The room went quiet as Shikamaru spoke his words. Ino opened her mouth to shout something, but Tenten quickly intervened.

"I'm afraid she's the head fashion consult, Mr. Nara. We CAN'T get her off the case without her consent,"

"Well, then I'll go straight to Ms. Tsunade."

"I'm afraid Ms. Tsunade won't hear anything. She's not one to listen to complaints," Tenten replied, clenching her fist in slight frustration, but keeping a smile plastered to her face.

"Well, 'm sure if we can' this troublesome problem ironed out, Sound magazine would LOVE to have us. Or Akatsuki magazine for that matter,"

Tenten's jaw dropped, but she hurriedly tried to regain her composure. Luckily for her, Neji stepped in.

"Look, Shikamaru, I don't know what's up with you, but stop trying to mess things up,"

"Eh, whatever. This just got troublesome,"

"Asshole," Ino muttered under her breath as she walked by him to grab Naruto and get him dressed for the shoot. Shikamaru pointedly ignored her.

Just then, the door blew open and a flash of red flew through it, and straight towards Sasuke.

"Heyy there, hot stuff. I'm Karin, and I'm gonna be your photographer. Please treat me kindly, heehee!"

Naruto slowly leaned towards Hinata, who he had originally gone to talk about his little make-up issue, and whispered in her ear.

"Hey, isn't that Tenten chick here to keep psychos like that out?" Hinata promptly edged a little away. She had always been nervous around guys, and one as hot as Uzumaki Naruto… Well, let's just say, bad news.

"Eh? You ok? Do I stink or something? Because you totally just backed away from me like I was crazy or smelled like onions…"

"Oi, back away from my cousin, Naruto," Neji quickly intervened, causing shock.

"Eh, you didn't tell me you had a cousin this cu-"

"Hinata, you said you met him only o-"

"EVERYONE, QUIET!" Sakura, who had been completely calm up to this point, finally snapped.

"YOU! Mr. Nara, since you're tallest, it'll be hardest t find clothes for you, so you're going first! Mr. Uzumaki, you're going into make-up first-" "Aw, c'mon!" "And the remaining three, go pick a dog. Karin and myself will accompany you there."

The room went silent.

"Well, firecracker, lead the way," Suigetsu smirked, being the first to break the silence after Sakura's little tirade.

Sakura huffed, before pushing open the door, and motioning for Karin, Suigetsu, Neji, Sasuke, and Tenten to follow. They all hurried after her, not wanting their eardrums blown out yet again.

-x-

"So, you're actually pretty cute. Although, the red hair and eyes just kinda look weird, ya know?" Suigetsu, who was currently trying (and failing) to chat up Karin, remarked, looking her head to toe.

"Look you should talk, weirdo. You have silver hair AND PURPLE EYES! Oh, and ever heard of filing down teeth? Yeah, that would be a good idea for you to try."

"SH-shut the hell up!" Karin yelled, pushing up her glasses.

"Karin, he's right. It would also help to get rid of that rat's nest you call a haircut." Sakura shot back behind her, having heard the whole conversation.

"Like you should talk, pinky? Everyone knows your hair is the fakest thing ever, besides your personality of course."

"Shut your fuc-"

"Stop it, girls. Now." Tenten, who had been walking in the middle with the only level-headed one in the group, Neji, turned around to scold the two women, not even noticing when Neji blatantly _growled_ because her attention was taken off of him.

"Ah, oh, sorry," Sakura apologized, bowing her head in a mock gesture of shame. She secretly glared at Karin from the corner of her eyes.

"Yeah, me, too," Karin replied, shooting glare beams at the back of Sakura's head.

"Heh, I knew a chick with a wolf would be crazy," Sakura ignored Sasuke, and finally came to show the group to a door.

"Kay, here's the deal. We're gonna release the dogs into the room, and whichever goes to you is the dog you will be shooting with. Got it?" Sakura gave them the run-down about her plan, which Sasuke promptly gave his feelings about.

"That's stupid,"

"Stick it up your-"

"Alright, let's go!" Tenten quickly came between the two.

She opened the door, and pushed the three in.

-x-

I got the wolf. I, Uchiha Sasuke, got a fluffy excuse for a wolf. Ugh.

-x-

So, I ended up getting a pretty cool dog. A fat black beagle-like thing who's actually pretty cute. That Karin chick said it's because idiots of a feather flock together. Bitch.

-x-

I got one of Hinata's dog, the gold one named Brandi. I think she fits my aristocratic appeal.

-x-

"So, Hinata, is there any way I could possibly get out of this? You know, an autograph from me would be worth thousands!" Naruto, who was currently sitting in a chair in front of a huge, lit mirror, was trying to convince Hinata to let him go without any make-up.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Uzumaki, but no. You'll look horrendous with makeup on. The lights will wash of your face, and you'll look pale, among other things…"

"Fine!" He pouted, and Hinata could have screamed.

"Just please let me put a little more blonde mascara on…"

"NO!"

-x-

"So, Tsunade dearest, I heard you managed to land an interview AND photo shoot with the Ninjas,"

"Die, bastard."

Tsunade, current editor-in-chief of ohbaby! Magazine, had a dilemma.

See, once upon a time, there had been three journalists for this very magazine They were considered the best of the best, and they always worked well together. Until one day, one of them wanted to be the editor in chief of ohbaby! Magazine. He was rejected.

He left to work with Akatsuki magazine and after that, started his own magazine, the very successful Sound magazine. The other two were left to stay with ohbaby! And skyrocket it to greatness.

The three were Tsunade herself, her best friend, Jiraiya, and the man she was talking to over the phone now, Orochimaru.

Now, the man was a snake for sure, but that didn't stop the fact that he was a very handsome snake, and a snake who she once had a crush on.

"Is that any way to speak to me, of all people? After all we've been through…"

"Shut the hell up. What do you want from me, bastard?" Tsunade drummed her fingers on the desk irritably.

"Oh, just wanting to know how you go the Ninjas for an interview. I want other things, too, of course,"

Tsunade shuddered. She couldn't tell why, though. Out of disgust, yes, but no one could deny his voice was hot as hell.

"None of your business, asshole. I just happen to have a few connections that you _don't_," Tsunade taunted, voice filled with childish glee. She threw in a giggle for effect.

"Downing shots again?"

"FUCK YOU!" The phone almost broke in Tsunade's effort of slamming it down on the desk.

"Ms. Tsunade! Is everything ok?" Shizune, Tsunade's assistant came barreling through the door to her office, worry etched in her face.

Tsunade took calming breaths. (_onetwothree)_

"I'm fine," She wasn't.

-x-

"I really want to apologize for the way my boys have been acting." That was an understatement. Naruto was currently yelling how he wanted no make-up, Shikamaru refused to talk to Ino about anything, leaving her frustrated and throwing things at her assistants.

Sasuke, Suigetsu, Neji, and the girls had yet to return, but he knew there would be no good to come them, either.

Hatake Kakashi, the Ninja's manager, shook his head and turned to the extra damage control expert, Mitarashi Anko. They sent another to help Tenten after she reported how much trouble was going on.

"It's ok, I guess. My girls aren't much better,"

"No, really. Let me show you how sorry I am. How about dinner tonight?"

"Sorry, I don't go out with guys who use crappy pick-up lines."

-x-

"Mr. Nara, I don't know your problem with me, but you're gonna have to get over it. We have a schedule, and if we can't follow, I will be in huge trouble."

"It's too troublesome to listen, h? How about we just relax?"

"How about you try these on instead?" Ino retorted, throwing an outfit at him. He just shrugged and walked to the changing room.

"Naruto, your turn!" Naruto, who had insisted on everyone calling him by his first name, bounded up to Ino.

"Do I get to wear something cool?"

It was at this point that the rest of the Ninjas returned, along with Karin, Sakura, and Tenten.

"Not as cool as me, idiot!" Suigetsu pushed past Naruto, and jumped up in down in front of Ino.

"Oooh, ooh, me next!"

"And about how old are we? Seven, maybe?" Karin decided to butt in at this moment.

"Nope, but that's probably what age your body looks," Suigetsu retorted with a gin, exposing all his teeth.

"F-fuck you!" Karin exclaimed indignantly, adjusting her glasses.

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

-x-

By the time Tenten and Anko had successfully calmed down Karin, the bys were already to go.

"Alright," Karin took a deep breath, "This way to the studio."

-x-

**There you go! Chapter 2!**


End file.
